Oi. The last 2 weeks have been a challenge. I missed one day of work because I threw up every time I sneezed. The last 2 days have been a challenge with sickness and exhaustion. Hopefully it will subside quickly now that I am starting the 2nd trimester.
I am in the home stretch of putting together a friend's wedding. I have made a ton of decorations but it's going to be gorgeous. I feel slightly guilty because I wasn't pregnant when I took on the task, and have been struggling to get everything done while fighting feeling less than prime. However I think it's going to be really pretty and hopefully everything the two of them are looking for. I will be glad to see it over so I can try to put the house back together which has been sorely neglected since I started feeling so darn yucky and tired.
Poor mom has been struggling with the flu the last few days. I haven't been able to spend any time with her so as to hopefully avoid adding that to my challenges. I got the flu shot last year in about October, but not worth taking the risk of it being a different type and I am not a fan of throwing up by any stretch.
Only a few weeks away from being able to find out the gender of the bean. I am excited. Tom and I would both like to have a little girl. My brother's kids are both boys so it would be a hoot to put a grand daughter in the mix. Of course healthy being the priority, I will be happy either way just being excited about having a child of my own that I have wanted for so damn long.
Nothing else exciting or worth mentioning, just working on getting through the week.
2.27.2007
welcome to the cheap seats
I admit it, I cannot help myself -- I always end up watching Dateline's To Catch a Predator. It's a horrible train wreck and a sad commentary but damn; why do these people never learn? Every time they do these stings several people show up, not one or two, but they end up arresting several.
I am not about to criticize meeting people on the Internet. I met my first husband on the Internet and when I first graduated from college (dear lord, 12 years ago) I used to visit chat rooms. Most of them were lame. People only want to talk to you about hooking up, or cyber sex. As a woman going into a chat room, it hardly ever took more than 5 minutes before several windows would pop up for private chat.
The Internet offers an interesting experience. There was a New Yorker cartoon that I had a postcard of for years that I thought was hysterical. There are 2 dogs, sitting at a computer -- one saying to the other "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog." It's so damn true. You can reinvent yourself at any given time to be anything you want. I used to think it was hilarious. However, I was 24, I knew what it was about. I had the experience to know when it was a good idea and most of the time didn't meet anyone in person. I can't imagine talking to someone who identifies themselves as a kid; kids do not have the experience or the ability to judge a situation for safety. Even if you talk to them because you think they are lying or anything else -- but to SHOW UP AT A HOUSE? Drive hundreds of miles?
Are they really that many people (and most of the people who show up are men) who want to have sex with kids? Really? Dear lord. Are they so lonely or immature that they cannot handle dealing with people their own age? Is it severe lack of confidence?
It amazes me how they all have the same excuse -- "I was checking on the girl/boy because she was alone," "I was going to teach her how dangerous it can be to meet people online" Some of them even mention seeing the show before. I also love the ones who claim they were "seduced" by the kid. Lovely. You could be sitting next to these people on the bus.
Yeah, I am ranting, I shouldn't try to post while the tv is on.
I am not about to criticize meeting people on the Internet. I met my first husband on the Internet and when I first graduated from college (dear lord, 12 years ago) I used to visit chat rooms. Most of them were lame. People only want to talk to you about hooking up, or cyber sex. As a woman going into a chat room, it hardly ever took more than 5 minutes before several windows would pop up for private chat.
The Internet offers an interesting experience. There was a New Yorker cartoon that I had a postcard of for years that I thought was hysterical. There are 2 dogs, sitting at a computer -- one saying to the other "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog." It's so damn true. You can reinvent yourself at any given time to be anything you want. I used to think it was hilarious. However, I was 24, I knew what it was about. I had the experience to know when it was a good idea and most of the time didn't meet anyone in person. I can't imagine talking to someone who identifies themselves as a kid; kids do not have the experience or the ability to judge a situation for safety. Even if you talk to them because you think they are lying or anything else -- but to SHOW UP AT A HOUSE? Drive hundreds of miles?
Are they really that many people (and most of the people who show up are men) who want to have sex with kids? Really? Dear lord. Are they so lonely or immature that they cannot handle dealing with people their own age? Is it severe lack of confidence?
It amazes me how they all have the same excuse -- "I was checking on the girl/boy because she was alone," "I was going to teach her how dangerous it can be to meet people online" Some of them even mention seeing the show before. I also love the ones who claim they were "seduced" by the kid. Lovely. You could be sitting next to these people on the bus.
Yeah, I am ranting, I shouldn't try to post while the tv is on.
2.25.2007
that's entertainment
I want to thank Melissa Etheridge for both kissing her wife on camera and thanking her as "my wife" in her Oscar speech. I also want to thank Ellen for the joke "he just can't accept we'll never be together; George Clooney." Awesome.
I don't know why I watch the Oscars. Any more, I have very rarely seen the movies that are nominated. I have to wait until they come to DVD between my work and the fact they're damn expensive. I like the film reel of those who have passed away in the last year. The funny bit about comedians being bitter at the Oscars was pretty good too. The shadow dancers who do the car commercials was a little strange but hey whatever.
I adore Phillip Seymour Hoffman -- why did he come on stage looking so hideous? Eww. Even for an independent film actor I would think the Oscars warranted a shower and a comb. I would also like know who lets some of these actresses dress the way they do. YUCK. I kept waiting for an appearance by Jennifer Hudson's nipple during the song medley.
NO NO NO NO!!! Holy crap the Pogues Sunny Side of the Street in a Cadillac commercial???? Holy shit. I suppose we'll get The Sex Pistols shilling Happy Meals next? (sorry, just saw the commercial, had to comment)
I did manage to master some cleaning this evening. Here is the secret -- 10 minutes of cleaning, sit for 5 or so, 10 minutes of cleaning, sit for more. Yee haw
Darn...I was rooting for Peter O'Toole. Forest Whittaker is cool too but I always root for the old guard.
Alright. All I wanted to really write about was actually getting through some cleaning. But hell the tv is on. Seriously Martin Scorsese hasn't one an Oscar before? Wow. Although I have to say it's nice to someone other than Clint win. Seems like every time he makes a movie it wins.
Ok. Departed takes movie of the year. Interesting. I will probably not see that one in all honesty. I haven't been a fan of DiCaprio since Gilbert Grape.
On than note, I will end this pointless this entry to get ready for some sleep and a new week of work tomorrow.
I don't know why I watch the Oscars. Any more, I have very rarely seen the movies that are nominated. I have to wait until they come to DVD between my work and the fact they're damn expensive. I like the film reel of those who have passed away in the last year. The funny bit about comedians being bitter at the Oscars was pretty good too. The shadow dancers who do the car commercials was a little strange but hey whatever.
I adore Phillip Seymour Hoffman -- why did he come on stage looking so hideous? Eww. Even for an independent film actor I would think the Oscars warranted a shower and a comb. I would also like know who lets some of these actresses dress the way they do. YUCK. I kept waiting for an appearance by Jennifer Hudson's nipple during the song medley.
NO NO NO NO!!! Holy crap the Pogues Sunny Side of the Street in a Cadillac commercial???? Holy shit. I suppose we'll get The Sex Pistols shilling Happy Meals next? (sorry, just saw the commercial, had to comment)
I did manage to master some cleaning this evening. Here is the secret -- 10 minutes of cleaning, sit for 5 or so, 10 minutes of cleaning, sit for more. Yee haw
Darn...I was rooting for Peter O'Toole. Forest Whittaker is cool too but I always root for the old guard.
Alright. All I wanted to really write about was actually getting through some cleaning. But hell the tv is on. Seriously Martin Scorsese hasn't one an Oscar before? Wow. Although I have to say it's nice to someone other than Clint win. Seems like every time he makes a movie it wins.
Ok. Departed takes movie of the year. Interesting. I will probably not see that one in all honesty. I haven't been a fan of DiCaprio since Gilbert Grape.
On than note, I will end this pointless this entry to get ready for some sleep and a new week of work tomorrow.
2.18.2007
hit me baby one more time
Someone needs to help this little girl. She is freaking out and probably on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I am not a fan of her music and I think she's got some serious growing up to do to be a mom to her two kids but it's obvious she is not handling any of this well.
Had she not spent a DAY in rehab and been out drinking every night ridiculously for several months -- I would say maybe she's thinking "Screw You! Stare at this!" Sadly, I don't think she's that sound of mind. Seeing this story the last 2 days has made me sad for her, and more so, her little boys. Where the hell is her mom?
Someone needs to get her to a secluded house, rehab center, ashram, whatever and let her be alone with some serious counseling. If not, I see another premature celebrity death.
2.14.2007
I follow where my mind goes
Woke up this morning completely freaked out from a horrible nightmare where I was in a room or a shelter of some kind and they were passing out dead babies wrapped in little blankets. I called in to work I was so worked up and anxious. Lame I know.
But...I went to the doctor and things are looking good!! I got to hear the heartbeat of the bean and it made me cry. Nice steady and strong. Got to see it swimming around -- so much so we had to wait to capture the heartbeat over the shushing sound. Best Valentine ever. I go back in 2 weeks and they will take blood to start checking for chromosomal problems and in 10 more weeks; we will be able to discover the gender. Woo Hoo! I am very excited about that. It was a great afternoon.
I was going to type some more but I admit it, I'm beat and I do have to work tomorrow.
But...I went to the doctor and things are looking good!! I got to hear the heartbeat of the bean and it made me cry. Nice steady and strong. Got to see it swimming around -- so much so we had to wait to capture the heartbeat over the shushing sound. Best Valentine ever. I go back in 2 weeks and they will take blood to start checking for chromosomal problems and in 10 more weeks; we will be able to discover the gender. Woo Hoo! I am very excited about that. It was a great afternoon.
I was going to type some more but I admit it, I'm beat and I do have to work tomorrow.
2.13.2007
And we all lose our charms in the end
I was avoiding talking about Anna Nicole Smith. Partly because frankly, up until her death I was darn sick of hearing about train wreck of a life. I feel sorry for her. Now, I feel for her little girl. Her mother did drugs, her 1/2 brother died because of drugs -- what chance does this little one have in the crazy environment she is in? She doesn't have a chance in hell of leading a normal life. I can already see the news stories that will follow her for the rest of her life. We'll see her when she goes to school and lord help her if she slips up at all in her life.
I also want to know the reasoning of "preserving her body" until the 20th and another court date. Unless they are wanting to perform a DNA test to make sure Anna Nicole is the mother of the baby, it shouldn't make a difference. Seems almost like a sick joke to have her sitting in a cooler somewhere for no reason. Also -- why won't Howard K Stern submit to the paternity test? Doesn't the baby deserve to at least know who her father is? It does make them all look like gold diggers for whatever money she may or may not inherit.
What I would like to see now -- or at least would make me laugh, is for several more semi-celebrities come out and claim paternity. How about Tom Arnold? He has had no face time in a while. Claiming he's the daddy gets him easily a week on Entertainment Tonight and probably a spot on Larry King. Andy Dick usually loves attention, he could be all over this. I would love to see Ellen claim paternity in her opening monologue at the Oscars.
Yeah, I am going to hell. But hey, if we're going to make it a circus, let's go all out.
I also want to know the reasoning of "preserving her body" until the 20th and another court date. Unless they are wanting to perform a DNA test to make sure Anna Nicole is the mother of the baby, it shouldn't make a difference. Seems almost like a sick joke to have her sitting in a cooler somewhere for no reason. Also -- why won't Howard K Stern submit to the paternity test? Doesn't the baby deserve to at least know who her father is? It does make them all look like gold diggers for whatever money she may or may not inherit.
What I would like to see now -- or at least would make me laugh, is for several more semi-celebrities come out and claim paternity. How about Tom Arnold? He has had no face time in a while. Claiming he's the daddy gets him easily a week on Entertainment Tonight and probably a spot on Larry King. Andy Dick usually loves attention, he could be all over this. I would love to see Ellen claim paternity in her opening monologue at the Oscars.
Yeah, I am going to hell. But hey, if we're going to make it a circus, let's go all out.
2.11.2007
I have to tell you just how I feel
I am a hormonal, sans anti-depressant mess. I slept I swear 14 hours today. Pissed away my entire Sunday. Even now, I am tired and will be headed to bed shortly. I cried watching the Police reunion on the Grammys, I cried watching like 10 minutes of Extreme Makeover Home Edition and cried as Tom got ready to go into work. Oh yeah, and when I thought about the fact I have to go into work tomorrow.
Yeah, this weekend was a basic loss and I have to start the week tomorrow at 5 am. Oi. I am a complete mess. I don't really now how to deal with it other than trying to gut it out. Our apartment at the moment is not fit for outsider consumption. It's a mess but I cannot bring myself to really clean it. It doesn't stink or anything, it's cluttered and thinking about it wears me out. That's the depression more than the pregnancy. I remember feeling like this all too well. It's a horrible feeling.
I go back to the doctor on Wednesday. I am going to talk to her about any options I may have. I know there are possible risks but I am not sure which is the bigger risk if I cannot get myself together. We shall see. I am crossing my fingers that there is something we can come up with.
Yeah, this weekend was a basic loss and I have to start the week tomorrow at 5 am. Oi. I am a complete mess. I don't really now how to deal with it other than trying to gut it out. Our apartment at the moment is not fit for outsider consumption. It's a mess but I cannot bring myself to really clean it. It doesn't stink or anything, it's cluttered and thinking about it wears me out. That's the depression more than the pregnancy. I remember feeling like this all too well. It's a horrible feeling.
I go back to the doctor on Wednesday. I am going to talk to her about any options I may have. I know there are possible risks but I am not sure which is the bigger risk if I cannot get myself together. We shall see. I am crossing my fingers that there is something we can come up with.
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