4.24.2007
Houston, we have a
We then went and bought him his first wee kilt, to match his daddy's. I am completely exhausted between nervous excitement and the shittiest weather to drive in. I am ready for a nap!
4.18.2007
It's a mad mad mad mad world
Detention order issued As early as 2005, police and school administrators were wrestling with what to do with Cho, who was accused of stalking two female students and was sent to a mental health facility after police obtained a temporary detention order.
The two women complained to campus police that Cho was contacting them with “annoying” telephone calls and e-mail messages in November and December 2005, campus Police Chief Wendell Flinchum said.
This is posted on the MSNBC website today. Apparently the gunman took the 2 hours between his 2 rampages to mail a package to NBC full of pictures, video clips and a rambling manifesto. After reading the above, I think it's sad that more wasn't done before the 14th. It's one thing when it's writing in a classroom. He was reported for stalking. That's a crime. I wonder why he was still attending class -- why he was still a student of the University. You can't suspend someone for writing weird class assignments, but stalking students, I would think so. Had that actually been reported and placed in his record, he wouldn't have been able to buy those guns.
It's sad that this person who was obviously very sick wasn't really acknowledged. I am not necessarily he should be pitied, I don't honestly know; obviously something was missed.
The article goes on to state that the administration could have forced inpatient care for him. It's horrible to hear these sort of things now -- because I cannot imagine the feelings of guilt anyone involved in those decisions must feel dealing with the "if onlies." The whole thing is gross and horrible. Hind-sight sucks. How do you move on from anger if you lost someone you loved?
And now other schools have received bomb threats. Wheatridge high school had specific students named today. Where do you start to address this?
4.17.2007
I've seen your flag on the marble arch and love is not a victory march
Before I get started on this, heck I have been writing and rewriting this for over 2 hours -- I am going to include a disclaimer. It goes against my first instinct, I should be able to state my opinion without (hopefully) giving anyone the impression that I condone killing, that I hold anyone who takes the life of another human being in any sort of regard. It shouldn't be necessary, but I have been alive through enough of these sort of incidents to know that people react with their gut and I understand people are not going to agree with me.
A couple facts about myself and my experiences that play into what I am going to say. I am a gun owner. I own a semi-automatic 22 pistol, and I have gone to shooting ranges with my dad several times. I am a damn good shot, and I have experience loading and shooting my dad’s 9mm semi automatic pistol, a 22 pistol, as well as rifles. I know how easy it is to expel an empty clip and reload. It’s quick, with any practice at all, it’s almost instantaneous. I also know how much ammo that man had to be carrying. A standard 9 mm clip carries 15 rounds which means he was carrying several, all preloaded. He had thought this out. I do not think guns are inherently evil, nor do I think that law-abiding citizens should be stopped from purchasing guns.
I have also been the kid who wrote violent pieces for class. In the 6th grade for a book writing/binding project, I wrote a violent book. It included murder, revenge, hell I beheaded a fellow classmate with an axe and then ended up destroying her reanimated body and setting it on fire before being locked away in a mental institution. I was 12. I know were I in school post-Columbine, I am sure it would have been seen as more than a creative project. I also take anti-depressants. Add those up without any other details -- I probably fit the profile.
My brother went through elementary school and junior high being tortured by other kids.
I am not talking about teasing. Yes there was that, but it went much further -- he was pushed, shoved and harassed. Not good natured ribbing. Yes, he was a nerd, yes he was smart and stood out because of that. He is know a Phd teaching early American Literature at a university and he’s a father of 2. He wrote pieces in junior high about suicide.
My sister wrote a piece in high school (a play I think) about killing her band teacher. She now has her Master’s in percussion and is a lawyer.
I wish there was a standard answer to why things happen. I wish there was a quick answer as to why some people go on to hurt others. Frankly, no matter how badly we want that, there isn’t.
This is one of those things that every one writes about when it happens. A thousand different experiences and thoughts. I do not know any one who attends or has attended Virginia Tech. I haven't been a college student in over 10 years.
What bothers me about situations like this is the debates that re-ignite when it happens. You have a "loner shooter" they are quiet, no one knows them, they have no known group of friends, except people find something about them "disturbing."
I am no expert on anything. I don't claim to be. I have read the "violent plays" that are now over the internet that supposedly point to a disturbed person. I have read that his writing teacher suggested he go to counseling. Here is my thought on this -- regardless of what we think, this person was an adult. You cannot force anyone to go to get help. You also in my opinion, cannot expel someone for what they write. To me, to start talking about this kind of thing, starts to smack of thought crime. You cannot decide that someone is disturbed, potentially violent without something more than a badly written violent play. We cannot start following people around waiting for them to do something. We cannot fit people into a “profile” if they take anti-depressants, express anger or anything else for that matter through writing. I certainly don’t want my personal things monitored in “case” I might go off the deep end. We run the risk of alienating even more people and keeping those who need help from getting it because of a stigma that frankly already exists. If only it were that easy to see who was going to turn out a certain way.
My heart goes out to those who lost loved ones. I am honestly sorry they are in pain. I just hope that we don’t create reactionary “solutions” that will give a false sense of security until it happens again.
4.08.2007
What a wonderful time of year

3.13.2007
instead of making me better, you keep making me ill
I am in the home stretch of putting together a friend's wedding. I have made a ton of decorations but it's going to be gorgeous. I feel slightly guilty because I wasn't pregnant when I took on the task, and have been struggling to get everything done while fighting feeling less than prime. However I think it's going to be really pretty and hopefully everything the two of them are looking for. I will be glad to see it over so I can try to put the house back together which has been sorely neglected since I started feeling so darn yucky and tired.
Poor mom has been struggling with the flu the last few days. I haven't been able to spend any time with her so as to hopefully avoid adding that to my challenges. I got the flu shot last year in about October, but not worth taking the risk of it being a different type and I am not a fan of throwing up by any stretch.
Only a few weeks away from being able to find out the gender of the bean. I am excited. Tom and I would both like to have a little girl. My brother's kids are both boys so it would be a hoot to put a grand daughter in the mix. Of course healthy being the priority, I will be happy either way just being excited about having a child of my own that I have wanted for so damn long.
Nothing else exciting or worth mentioning, just working on getting through the week.
2.27.2007
welcome to the cheap seats
I am not about to criticize meeting people on the Internet. I met my first husband on the Internet and when I first graduated from college (dear lord, 12 years ago) I used to visit chat rooms. Most of them were lame. People only want to talk to you about hooking up, or cyber sex. As a woman going into a chat room, it hardly ever took more than 5 minutes before several windows would pop up for private chat.
The Internet offers an interesting experience. There was a New Yorker cartoon that I had a postcard of for years that I thought was hysterical. There are 2 dogs, sitting at a computer -- one saying to the other "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog." It's so damn true. You can reinvent yourself at any given time to be anything you want. I used to think it was hilarious. However, I was 24, I knew what it was about. I had the experience to know when it was a good idea and most of the time didn't meet anyone in person. I can't imagine talking to someone who identifies themselves as a kid; kids do not have the experience or the ability to judge a situation for safety. Even if you talk to them because you think they are lying or anything else -- but to SHOW UP AT A HOUSE? Drive hundreds of miles?
Are they really that many people (and most of the people who show up are men) who want to have sex with kids? Really? Dear lord. Are they so lonely or immature that they cannot handle dealing with people their own age? Is it severe lack of confidence?
It amazes me how they all have the same excuse -- "I was checking on the girl/boy because she was alone," "I was going to teach her how dangerous it can be to meet people online" Some of them even mention seeing the show before. I also love the ones who claim they were "seduced" by the kid. Lovely. You could be sitting next to these people on the bus.
Yeah, I am ranting, I shouldn't try to post while the tv is on.
2.25.2007
that's entertainment
I don't know why I watch the Oscars. Any more, I have very rarely seen the movies that are nominated. I have to wait until they come to DVD between my work and the fact they're damn expensive. I like the film reel of those who have passed away in the last year. The funny bit about comedians being bitter at the Oscars was pretty good too. The shadow dancers who do the car commercials was a little strange but hey whatever.
I adore Phillip Seymour Hoffman -- why did he come on stage looking so hideous? Eww. Even for an independent film actor I would think the Oscars warranted a shower and a comb. I would also like know who lets some of these actresses dress the way they do. YUCK. I kept waiting for an appearance by Jennifer Hudson's nipple during the song medley.
NO NO NO NO!!! Holy crap the Pogues Sunny Side of the Street in a Cadillac commercial???? Holy shit. I suppose we'll get The Sex Pistols shilling Happy Meals next? (sorry, just saw the commercial, had to comment)
I did manage to master some cleaning this evening. Here is the secret -- 10 minutes of cleaning, sit for 5 or so, 10 minutes of cleaning, sit for more. Yee haw
Darn...I was rooting for Peter O'Toole. Forest Whittaker is cool too but I always root for the old guard.
Alright. All I wanted to really write about was actually getting through some cleaning. But hell the tv is on. Seriously Martin Scorsese hasn't one an Oscar before? Wow. Although I have to say it's nice to someone other than Clint win. Seems like every time he makes a movie it wins.
Ok. Departed takes movie of the year. Interesting. I will probably not see that one in all honesty. I haven't been a fan of DiCaprio since Gilbert Grape.
On than note, I will end this pointless this entry to get ready for some sleep and a new week of work tomorrow.